Going Buggy, A Return to My Roots

Sophia posts:

As I was walking the beach today, I was surprised and delighted to find it swarming with ladybugs. The sweet little red beetles are one of my favorite insects and also my daughter's blogname--though as of this morning she was thinking of changing it to Butterfly. I'll keep you posted.

This got me thinking about spiritual insect trivia: Did you know that medieval mystics and theologians esteemed the bee for its dedicated work and transformation of ordinary ingredients into sweetness? That Spider Woman is an important creator Goddess to many Native American tribes? Or that Francis of Assisi was reminded of Jesus not only by lambs being led to slaughter, but also by worms (think "I am a worm and no man" from the Psalms)-- so he picked them up and took them out of stomping-vulnerable spots?!

In that spirit, this week's Friday Five is a magical mystery tour through God's garden of creepy crawlies!

Oooh, Oooh, oooh!  A Friday Five that covers my previous life.  Before attending seminary, I worked for nearly six years as an entomologist.  I'll try not to be too boring in this post.

1. Ladybugs or ladybirds? Pillbugs or roly-polys? Jesus bugs or water skeeters? Any other interesting regional or familial name variations?

Ladybugs, of course, or Hippodamia spp.  Pillbugs, which aren’t really bugs.  And of course all the shorthand names we used to use: Tenebs for a type of beetles, Beets for the moths we worked with. And on and on ad nausem.

2. Stomp on spiders, carry them outside, or peacefully co-exist?

I try to peacefully co-exist.  Kim is a little more hard to please.  Heck, our lab greenhouses were full of black widows and other lovelies (we couldn’t use pesticides on plants we were growing to test pesticides on), we just were really careful about where we put our hands.

3. Favorite insect?

Ah, so many to choose from.  But for sheer “Holy sh** what is that thing?” it’s hard to top the Palo Verde Beetles in Arizona.  And Tiger_beetles are pretty amazing.  So many absolutely beautiful beetles to choose from.

4. Least favorite?

Having mowed over too many yellow jacket nests in my life, and the subsequent day spent in a Benadryl haze, I’m not too fond of them.  Mosquitoes are high on my list of things to ask God about.

5. Got any good bug stories to share?

The tiger beetle mentioned above remind me of a weekend collection trip a bunch of us took to the White Mountains of Arizona one fall.  In the Salt River Canyon (which is just as awesome as the Grand Canyon, yet little known) we spent the afternoon happily collecting all sorts of interesting things. Tiger Beetles are incredibly fast and hard to catch; you can’t sneak up on them.  All you can do is run along as fast as you can swinging your net about half an inch off the ground, try not to fall in the creek, and hope you scoop one up.

Oh, and the best definition I’ve ever heard of entomologists (and this from the department head)?  “Redneck Hippies.”

Bonus question: share a poem, song, quotation, etc. about insects.

This guy: Acorn the Nature Nut has produced some wonderful stuff about bugs.  He was a classmate of one of my professors in grad school.  I’m pretty certain some people I knew in AZ are singing backup on some of these videos. 

But I’ll close with an Ogden Nash piece:

Some primal termite knocked on wood

tasted it and found it good.

And that is why your cousin May

Fell through the parlor floor today.

Boxing the Boxer

My plan seems to be working. First, I befriended the little guy, made him used to playing with me, made him think I’m his best friend.

Little does he know…what machinations I have in mind for him. I got him used to playing in, shall we say, special locations. That’s it, go right ahead, make yourself comfortable.

Go on, get back in the box, kid. I’m going to close it so you feel nice and warm and cozy in it. No need to panic. It’ll be like being in your crate, without the wire sides and the free movement of air. STOP TRYING TO GET OUT EVERYTHING’S FINE!

No, just messing around, nothing to see, here, Kim. What do you mean, “Why is the puppy in that box with food and water in the bottom?” Just trying to give him someplace new to play. I don’t know why you think he looks scared. I think he looks really at home in it.

Does anybody have any extra stamps? This is going to take more postage than I realized. It would’ve been cheaper when he was smaller.

Send Help Soon

Newman reporting from week 5 of the siege. I’m not sure if I like how things are going with my new housemate. He definitely gets special treatment that would get me in trouble. Like this:

Do I think this is fair? No. If I get on the couch, I get yelled at, but not only does he get on the couch to sleep, Kim puts his special blanky (like a real dog would need one, hah) up there for him. Let him get his own blanket, I say. I know Dave agrees with me, but so far Kim is winning the argument.

UPDATE: The little twerp fell off the couch last night while he was sleeping. I tried to keep a straight face, but it was almost impossible not to laugh like a loon at him. Serves him right. The thud was quite satisfying. Sleeping on the floor is much, much, safer.

And then he thinks he can sleep next to me:

Like a real dog would sleep like that. Huh. And then there’s his sleep habits. I wonder if any of these would help:

http://www.snoremate.com/index.html

Really, I'm not kidding. turn up your speakers to get the full effect. Take a listen:

Any advice you have on how to handle this dire situation would be appreciated.

Addendum: Cats are not, I repeat, not the solution to the problem. Cats are a worse problem than the puppy. Not by much, though.

Newman

Keeping the Dogs Theologically Pure

I was in the Big City (by Wyoming standards, every time I drive there I’m always shocked to see a number above 40,000 on the “welcome to” sign on the outskirts) this week for a meeting at the presbytery office.  And lo and behold, on the main drag on the way into town, I saw something I know is a danger to the very souls of our beloved doggies.  You see, we’re raising and training them to be good Calvinists.  The Westminster Confession and Catechisms are just as important to our puppies as the Westminster Kennel Club.  That’s why we’re going to keep them as far as possible from this place.

Puppymania 4

Here's how Newman is adjusting to the new arrival. Turn your sound up to hear the variety of noise he produces. And watch to the end to see the PADD kick in. (Puppy Attention Deficit Disorder). They play like this for a while and then crash for a long time.

Testing, 1,2,3

Ok, I’m going to test this Windows Live Writer thing and see if it makes the whole Blogger experience a little less headachy.  This is the grill of Kim’s car after the deer whacked it.  We got the estimate today: $1800+.  Of course, the deer paid the ultimate price, so I guess I shouldn't complain.  Notice the pieces of plastic embedded in the radiator.

A Newman Christmas

Newman, reporting New Year's Day.

Last week was some holiday called Christmas. I don't know what's it all about, but Dave and Kim were kinda busy for a while and I felt pretty neglected. So, one evening when Dave was home and downstairs watching TV and ignoring me, I went upstairs and ate the cinnamon rolls that were within my reach on the counter. That'll teach him to ignore me. If I knew who made those, I go and thank them. They were great. I mean, look at them:

Then one night a week ago, they were both gone. After a while, Dave came back but Kim didn't. Then Dave did something really strange. He got my portable coop out and put it in the back of the car along with some of the stuff they put in the car when I go to puppy camp. So I got really excited, because I don't get to go to puppy camp at night very often. Then we got in the car. After a while, I figured we weren't going to puppy camp, because we were in the car a long time, much longer than usual. I was tired, but I stayed awake and looked over Dave's shoulder at the road for most of the trip. There wasn't much too see. Then Dave stopped the car in front of a big building and took me inside. And guess what?!!! We found Kim! I didn't know she lived that far away when she wasn't home with me. So I spent some time running around this new place to explore, but they didn't have any food out on the kitchen counters for me to find. Drat.

After a while, Dave set up the folding coop and put me in in some room that Kim called her office. I don't know why, I haven't spent much time in that since I was a puppy. Do they not trust me? Some nice lady came in to visit me in my coop, but no matter how much I wiggled and wagged my tail, they still didn't let me out. Then they left, turned the lights off, and shut the door. I don't know what they expected me to do in the dark by myself, but I could hear them faintly talking and singing in the building next door. They talked and sang a long time, and then they finally came and got me. Then Kim put me in her car and I stayed awake for the whole drive home. Boy, was I tired when I finally got to bed.

The next day was that Christmas thing, and they slept in for a while, which I was fine with. They tried out something called a waffle iron; which I thought was a great thing, as I got some scraps from the first few they tried that didn't come out so well. As far as I'm concerned, they can give me all their kitchen mistakes.

The rest of the day they spent messing around in the kitchen working on something called a standing rib roast. I don't know what the heck that is, but, boy, did it smell good when they finally took it out of the oven and started cutting it. I knew they weren't going to eat it all. Even I would have had a problem eating something that big, but I would love to try, if given a chance. I did my best to convince them that I was a really really really good boy while they were eating and I deserved some sort of award for "Longest Time Spent in One Position During Dinner". Can't you see how good I am? I can hold this position for a long time if I have to. This seems to be the way they want me to be, so I do my best to please them and hope they reward me with a morsel.

Then, wonder of wonders, some of those tasty beef fragments made it into my bowl. I know there was more left over, so I'm wondering why they were so stingy. Oh well, it was delicious.

I heard them talking about the problem with Christmas it that the buildup lasts a long time but then it goes by really quickly. I guess they're right. My Christmas dinner didn't last long at all:

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year! May you get the biggest bones and treats and may your world be free of cats.